It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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