Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
