What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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