It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize