My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
