I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
