idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
