Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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