lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
