ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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