If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
