Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
