I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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