Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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