You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
