Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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