So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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