look no pants
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
