he confused my yawn for an orgasm
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
