I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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