i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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