I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
