She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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