Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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