WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
