As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
