did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
