I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
so much tequila, so little girl.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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