he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
