Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
She even gives head with a lisp.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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