i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
