I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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