We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
