i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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