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until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
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