you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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