Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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