dude i'm inner monologue high
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
