I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
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