dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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