just survived the first fart of the relationship.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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