yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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