Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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