Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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