he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Dicks are not precious.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
