That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
