I hope mine doesn't look like that
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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