Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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