So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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