I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize