did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
