Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
