Yo dont text me then not text me
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
