then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
