My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
