the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
