Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Randomize
