Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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