I am in a vortex of obligation.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
