The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
