Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
There was a lot of him and a little penis
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Church boner. Awkwardddd
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
