He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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